Tonight, I went to a birthday celebration/housewarming party hosted by one of my day-job co-workers and his wife. I’ve been to many of these events, yet, this one was different than all of the others, and I wanted to share the experience with you in hopes, that it might inspire you, too.
How this Came About
A little bit of background might explain how this came about: I work for a leadership school on a military base with awesome instructors, so leadership stuff is all around us every day. It was one of our new instructors we had this party for.
We knew that something was different when our invitation was entirely in dialog form–as in a movie script. It told us that in lieu of presents, we all would bring the gift of story. The topic of the party was “Home.” Since we are a mix of military families and academics, the word “Home” takes on quite a few meanings, as many of us have been picking up our belongings and relocated to new duty stations every 2-3 years.
What “Home” Means to Me
I won’t go into much detail about my colleagues stories, but I’m willing to share my experience with you. I’m originally from a small town in Germany, and my adventure began when I got married to a soldier, my now husband. Leaving my home town to come to the States was exciting and new, however, I didn’t know anybody at our new duty station. To make things worse, since hubby was in the infantry, he was gone for training for months at a time. My family was an ocean away, and I didn’t know where to turn when things got tough.
This was very hard for me, especially, since I had just given birth to my twin boys, and my daughter was going to kindergarten. That year, I did a lot of growing up and learned to ask and accept help from strangers. It was the only way to keep my sanity.
I finally had made friends, which made our situation bearable.
A Military Home
As a military wife, you often hear: “If the Army wanted you to have a spouse, they would’ve issued you one,” or “Mission First.” Basically, I’ve learned to become self-sufficient, and other spouses became my lifeline. Military families take care of each other. That’s just what we do.
Another saying is: “Home is where the Army sends you.” I actually have one of my cross-stitch projects that hangs by our front door with this saying. It stuck with me over the years as we moved so many times.
These sayings, as bad as they sound, helped me cope and stay strong. I then was also able to turn around and help others that had it worse than I did. Making the best out of a tough situation was rewarding in itself and made where we’ve
How to Make a Home
Job #1: Always unpack the house and make it as cozy as possible first. This was regardless if we lived in 50-year-old military housing with lead paint and black mold. My goal was to make each new place feel like a home.
Job #2: Get to know your neighbors, because you never know when you might need them. This was also where the support came from when our spouses were training in the field or deployed.
Job #3: Get connected and make some pretty darn good friends. Together, anything is possible. While our husbands were gone, my friends and I met several times a week to play cards, cooked holiday meals together, or cried on each others’ shoulders.
So What Does “Home” Really Mean?
In short, home is not tied to a place or house. It is connected to the people in your lives and the way they impact how we go about our day-to-day business. Yes, I’ve lived in some beautiful places and some really crappy ones. Guess what, even in those not so nice places, I remember the good times we had with friends the most. That’s what makes a home a home, the people you get to share it with.
Tonight, I learned that most of us feel the same way–that home is a mindset and is made up of the people around you. Better yet, I got a rare glimpse into my co-workers’ lives. We talked about something that we probably wouldn’t talk about at work. It made me learn more about my colleagues and their family members, and I found I had a lot more things in common than I thought. I will definitely include story time next time we host a gathering.
Now It’s Your Turn
I’m curious how you would interpret the word home. Leave a comment below to share what it means to you.
